once upon a time there was a mean old man who wore a sad toupee and had tiny hands with skin like an orange or maybe a carrot had a billion bucks but he never would share it not even just a few especially not with folks like me and you well he rose to power and he rose to fame and he built himself a tower to display his name and he'd sit up there at the very top eatin' fast food and drinkin' pop that's right soda pop gotta get that high fructose corn syrup eventually he won the highest seat in all of the world but he didn't cheat he wants you to now wants you to believe he won all fair and square no tricks up his sleeve not a one, except maybe the cereal hey man tricks are for kids I guess too many people just sat around wishin' for a business man to fake a politician twitterin' and tweetin' like a dumpy old bird if he couldn't think of one he made up his own words some call that ingenuity I call it covfefe plenty of folks they were content with this they'd say "better than a woman or a socialist" "better than a black man born in Kenya" they wouldn't take cane sugar not even splenda these folks wanted aspartame I told em' it caused cancer you know what they told me fake news well the whole worlds in trouble with that dude in charge and I'm not talkin' little, I'ma talkin' large, I'ma talkin' a large lot of trouble they're all in they'da been better off with a mannequin for president mannequin for president, who ever hearda such a thing never know could work climate was changin' ice caps were meltin' people all sorts were talkin' rebellion they were takin' to the streets - civil disobedience while scientists were tryin' to convince one orange man that all that evidence they compiled was evidently concrete who'da thunk it other side of the world there a dictator sittin' with a nuclear weapon and he's just itchin' says he's gotta button and he keeps it in his office he's a-ready to launch it so you better be cautious my buttons bigger and more powerful naturally since we got blowed up its been hard to tell which one of them maniacs dropped the first bombshell guess it don't matter now that we're all dead and on our way up to the supreme godhead and I'm gettin of kinda excited I heard a lot about him through my whole life and I've got some questions to ask you still keep in touch with lucifer well now I'm up in heaven cuz the world has ended and I was kinda hopin' that this place was splendid but it turned out god was like president except that he's in the spiritual realm and he's hell bent on tellin' allah, buddha, krishna, that blue guy you ain't got no place up here you don't look like me go get your own heaven I'm gonna build a wall a heavenly wall get out amen

well if I was a pickle I'd live inside a jar I ain't no pickle so I live out of my car don't ask noone for nothin work hard as I can it seems to me that pickles got it easier than man I say we go on down to the local grocery store round up all them pickle jars and smash em on the floor god damn cuz them no good lousy pickles they just sit there and ferment they're worse than couch potatoes and my taxes pay their rent see the problem with this pictures is that pickles got it good I say we drive them pickles out of our nice neighborhoods you know they don't speak english can't speak at all think I might just build myself a little anti-pickle wall make em pay for it I don't like them bread and butters I can't stand kosher dills I've got enough trouble payin for my own damn bills this pickle problem is serious I can't stress it enough no and i won't stop fighting pickles till i see em all in cuffs you can send em back down to that cucumber vine I'd rather turn em into relish than watch them float there in brine now people it ain't about their color you know I love my greens and I'm in support of freedom for all veggies fruits and beans but somethin bout them pickles just don't sit right with me and I ain't never seen no pickle jar come with guarantee keep them pickles off your next cheese platter but you can keep them kalamatas because we all know olives matter don't they

oh say can you see old glory a-wavin through tear gas and tall razor wire that red white and blue won't mean nothin to you if refuge is all you desire you come on your bare feet you come thousands of miles come flee from your murderous homeland we're here for you all beyond big border walls take your freedom into your own hands you give us your tired and your poor huddled masses we'll sort em out and put em all in cages we all know your type when our fruit is near ripe you'll do the work for unlivable wages your children we'll keep they'll be safe from your harm don't worry we've got fourteen thousand and once they've grown up we'll have just enough to work every inch of our farm land oh say can you see old glory a-wavin through tear gas and tall razor wire that red white and blue won't mean nothin to you if refuge is all you desire that red white and blue won't mean nothin to you if asylum is all you desire that red white and blue won't mean nothin to you if your freedom is all you desire

I love my Cheese and Sushi