once upon a time there was a mean old man
who wore a sad toupee and had tiny hands
with skin like an orange or maybe a carrot
had a billion bucks but he never would share it
not even just a few
especially not with folks like me and you

well he rose to power and he rose to fame
and he built himself a tower to display his name
and he'd sit up there at the very top
eatin' fast food and drinkin' pop
that's right soda pop
gotta get that high fructose corn syrup

eventually he won the highest seat
in all of the world but he didn't cheat
he wants you to now wants you to believe
he won all fair and square no tricks up his sleeve
not a one, except maybe the cereal
hey man tricks are for kids

I guess too many people just sat around wishin'
for a business man to fake a politician
twitterin' and tweetin' like a dumpy old bird
if he couldn't think of one he made up his own words
some call that ingenuity
I call it covfefe

plenty of folks they were content with this
they'd say "better than a woman or a socialist"
"better than a black man born in Kenya"
they wouldn't take cane sugar not even splenda
these folks wanted aspartame
I told em' it caused cancer you know what they told me
fake news

well the whole worlds in trouble with that dude in charge
and I'm not talkin' little, I'ma talkin' large,
I'ma talkin' a large lot of trouble they're all in
they'da been better off with a mannequin for president
mannequin for president, who ever hearda such a thing
never know could work

climate was changin' ice caps were meltin'
people all sorts were talkin' rebellion
they were takin' to the streets - civil disobedience
while scientists were tryin' to convince one orange man
that all that evidence they compiled was evidently concrete
who'da thunk it

other side of the world there a dictator sittin'
with a nuclear weapon and he's just itchin'
says he's gotta button and he keeps it in his office
he's a-ready to launch it so you better be cautious
my buttons bigger and more powerful
naturally

since we got blowed up its been hard to tell
which one of them maniacs dropped the first bombshell
guess it don't matter now that we're all dead
and on our way up to the supreme godhead
and I'm gettin of kinda excited
I heard a lot about him through my whole life
and I've got some questions to ask
you still keep in touch with lucifer

well now I'm up in heaven cuz the world has ended
and I was kinda hopin' that this place was splendid
but it turned out god was like president
except that he's in the spiritual realm and he's hell bent
on tellin' allah, buddha, krishna, that blue guy
you ain't got no place up here
you don't look like me
go get your own heaven
I'm gonna build a wall
a heavenly wall
get out
amen